


Get Away From It All

by professor



Series: We Welcome Our New Sexbot Overlords [7]
Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, But sometimes they come true, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Crack, Erik Has Ridiculous And Totally Unrealistic Fantasies, Erik Is Crushing Harder Than A 12-Year-Old Girl, Erik vs. Bears, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Honeymoon, M/M, Robot Sex, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2012-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-07 18:34:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professor/pseuds/professor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newly married Emperor of the World Erik just wants to spend his honeymoon in bed, but Charles wants to go hiking. This is probably (definitely) a bad idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Away From It All

**Author's Note:**

> This installment is dedicated to nekosmuse, for reasons which will become obvious during reading.

Erik watches the man next to him sleep, tangled up in the bedsheets, pale skin glowing in the moonlight. 

Charles.

His _husband_.

In about a hundred years, Erik _might_ stop being amazed by that.

The man who, not twelve hours ago, broke Erik’s heart with the worlds, “I can’t do this.”

And almost immediately put it back together, by suggesting they elope. 

Erik had given him an out, and Charles had _stayed_.

He’d _chosen_ Erik.

Charles murmurs in his sleep, stirring. Blinks open his eyes, blearily.

“Erik?” comes the soft question. “What’s wrong?”

Erik shakes his head. “Nothing’s wrong. Go back to sleep.”

“But you’re crying,” says Charles, as he wipes away the tears Erik didn’t realize he was shedding. 

Erik captures Charles’ hand and leans into it. “I’m just happy.”

Charles smiles, slow and soft and sweet. “So am I.”

*****

“I’m not real clear on why you felt the need to pack these, Charles,” says Erik dubiously.

Charles blinks. “You don’t understand why I brought _sex toys_ on our _honeymoon_? I would think it would be patently obvious.”

“Yes, but I doubt any of them will be effective on robots,” points out Erik. 

Charles snorts. “You clearly have never met Tony. Or, more importantly, JARVIS. Trust me, he wouldn’t have sent these over if he didn’t think we’d _both_ get use out of them.”

Erik is still skeptical.

Charles proves him _very_ wrong.

*****

Erik would be perfectly pleased if they spent the entire honeymoon in bed, but no, for some reason, Charles wants to go hiking.

“Fresh air, Erik,” says Charles. “The sky. Sunshine. All things I missed, you know, when I was being held in that _giant birdcage_. And then of course planning for the wedding.”

Erik refrains from pointing out that before that, Charles had spent all of his time in his lab _anyway_.

Part of marriage is compromise, after all.

*****

Maybe this hiking thing isn’t so bad, Erik admits to himself, a hour or so later. Charles looks so happy, rambling around, chattering in Erik’s ear about the scientific properties of moss and other things. 

Naturally, as soon as Erik thinks this, this is when he and Charles hear a deep growl from behind them.

They turn around, slowly.

Erik grins, showing all his teeth, then shoves Charles behind him, and flexes his hands.

This will be _fun_.

“Erik, no! Please don’t kill it, it’s just an animal,” Charles begs. 

Erik sighs.

Then he tosses Charles over his shoulder and starts running.

Except.

Just when he thinks he should have outpaced it, he can still hear the bear rumbling behind them, hot on his heels. 

But that shouldn’t be possible.

Not unless ...

No. 

No one would _actually_ \--

“Erik! Erik, it’s gaining on us! I think it’s a robot, too!” yells Charles.

A Robot. Bear.

_WHAT_.

Erik swears, and speeds up.

Who _does_ that? Who decides, “Oh, a robot bear, _that’s_ good idea.”

Erik is finding that person later, and having them shot.

Red light sizzles past, and makes a tree in front of them and slightly to the right catch on fire.

“Erik! It has _laser eyes_ ,” screams Charles. 

A robot bear with _laser eyes_.

Correction. Erik is finding that person and having them shot -- _into the sun_.

*****

Erik decides the universe really must hate him when they come to a ravine that is too wide and deep for Erik to jump.

They’ve got seconds before the bear catches up, and --

“Erik, climb that tree over there!” yells Charles, waving his arm into Erik’s line of sight and pointing. 

Erik does, although it will only buy them a few more seconds at best, since -- “Bears can climb, Charles!” And the tree Charles had selected wasn’t even that tall or wide. But it’s not like Erik has a better idea.

“Yes! Now be ready to jump from here, into another tree!” says Charles.

Erik edges along a branch, about to jump. The robot bear reaches the base of the tree.

“Wait for it,” says Charles.

The robot bear starts climbing.

“Wait for it,” says Charles.

The bear is almost within striking distance, and there’s an ominous creaking --

“Now!”

Erik jumps just as the creaking turns to _cracking_ \--

And he lands just in time to watch the tree, robot bear and all, tumble into the ravine.

“I knew it would be too heavy for that tree to support, being a _robot_ bear,” Charles explains.

Charles just used _science_ to defeat a _robot bear_.

Erik has never been more turned on in his _life_.

*****

After ascertaining that no, it wasn’t an assassination attempt, some idiot really had just created a robot bear and let it loose (apparently that robot bear had been terrorizing the area off and on for about twenty years), Erik and Charles are finally permitted by their security to get back to their honeymoon.

Charles is currently taking a hot bath, to soothe his bruises (and Erik feels guilty about every single one, since they came from non-sex-related activities), while Erik is sitting on the bed, making minor repairs to his dinged exterior.

Charles had thanked him, of course, but Erik can’t help wishing he’d been a bit more ... grateful.

_Charles comes out of the bathroom, a towel slung low on his hips._

_“It was really dashing and heroic of you, Erik, how you rescued me from that robot bear,” Charles purrs._

_He lets the towel drop._

Erik sighs. If there’s one thing he’s learned recently, it’s that sex with Charles is really nothing like his fantasies. 

It’s mostly _much better_ , but still.

Charles comes out of the bathroom, a towel slung low on his hips and a sly grin on his face.

“I haven’t thanked you properly, Erik, for rescuing me from that robot bear,” Charles purrs.

He lets the towel drop.

Erik blinks.

Did that just ... ?

And then Charles is climbing on top of him and pulling off Erik’s clothes and Erik can’t keep the ridiculous grin off his face.

*****

Erik is still having the creator of the robot bear shot into the sun, though.

As well as the remains of the robot bear.

But he’ll worry about that later.

*****


End file.
